So here's to the things my 8-year-old students (and a few of the fifth graders too!) have said in the last few months that i HAVE remembered to write down.. Some of these made me halt class (in funny, disguised ways) just so I could walk to my desk for a post-it note and capture the words that made the day a little bit easier (aka, made me chortle :)). Enjoy!..
5-14-10
Fifth Grader’s written response—
Q: "What is the definition of 'reluctantly'?"
A: "Something that’s shaped like a reluctant"
Student: Ms. W, if I go to jail when I’m older will you help me get out?
Ms. W: Why would you go to jail?
Student: I don’t know but if Billy ends up going, I’ll probably end up there too.
Ms. W: Why would Billy go?
Student: For stealing fried chicken, of course! Duh :) You know that crazy-Billy loves fried chicken!
5-13-10
“Your sister has a ducky husband and he smells like chicken. And I know this because I’m awesome!”
“My pencil is a warrior. That’s why it has a hat”
“I’m going to make a lot of airplanes and sell them at recess to kids that don’t have a life”
“Aw… I farted in the hallway again- my bad bugs are acting up! Seriously”
3-24-10
[One of my little girls crawled under the table, sat Indian-style, and dropped her head to her hands]
Me [semi-under the table too]: "what are you doing?"
Little one: "I don’t know"
Me: "are you hiding?"
Little one: "yes, from the monster"
Me: [smiling] "am I the monster?" [nods her head and begins to smile]
Me: "what kind of monster?"
Little one: "the Math Monster"
Me: "what can I do to make it better?"
Little one: "I don’t know yet" [said in a deeeeply whimpery voice]
Me: "but you’ll come out soon and tell me..?"
Little one: [nods her head]
Me: "I love you. Take your time."
Little one: "ok,. I’m ready."
“No, smoking doesn’t make you ugly—that’s only with drugs. Drugs make you look gross and disgusting.. Like Michael Jackson. Drugs made Michael Jackson a girl!”
“Miss W, I think you should have a boyfriend, but I don’t think boys like teachers”
Student #1: “Oooh there’s a duck in this picture”
Ms. W: Is that the picture with a girl holding a duck?”
Student #1: yes!
Ms. W: Oh that’s my sister. She’s a duck.
Student #2: Did you say your sister’s a duck?
Ms. W: yes :)
Student #2: Your sister is a duck! That’s crazy :)
“Are you writing an email to a platypus that saw you in your underwear?!”
“This morning for breakfast, I ate a pooptart. Haha”
”I FORGOT TO TAKE MY PILL TODAY!! THEY SAY I’M HYPERACTIVE! HA HA! NO SERIOUSLY, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!”
“I love how my mom forgets stuff! Like she said the other day ‘Im never going to buy you anything else’ or ‘you’re not allowed to watch tv until Friday’ and then she totally forgets and I can’t do it!”
3rd grader #1: “Who’s Jesus. Oh! Jesus. Yeah I just forget who that is sometimes”
#2: “How can you forget Jesus?”
#3: “It happens. I do it too. Like when things are going really good and I’m having a lot of fun I stop thinking about him.”
#2: “yeah I guess sometimes I can even forget I have a family”
“Only my dad can carry a 200 lb. pumpkin, ‘cuz he’s like 73 years old!!”
“I feel so free in these pants!” (as he did a little butt-wiggle)
Fifth grade IEP student transition survey question: "what will you do in your free time after high school?" Student's response: "probably study for college tests and quizzes. that, or spend time making a museum entirely out of legos."
“I feel like I lost two years of my life!” –5th grader after a five-minute tornado drill (HUGE sigh of relief and air escaped the hallway when the announcement came on that it was done)
"monday is my march memesis!"
"I... I must have some bad bugs living in my stomach that are making me do it" -Student's somber explanation for creepy giggling during a test!
3rd Grader #1: "You're not a teacher. You're like a teacher-puppy"
3rd Grader #2: "Heehee...A teacher in a puppy-suit!"
3rd Grader #1: "A puppy in a teacher-suit!"
"Miss WonderTech, aren't you a teeeenager??"
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