Updated funny things my students have said this year!

So here's to the things my 8-year-old students (and a few of the fifth graders too!) have said in the last few months that i HAVE remembered to write down.. Some of these made me halt class (in funny, disguised ways) just so I could walk to my desk for a post-it note and capture the words that made the day a little bit easier (aka, made me chortle :)). Enjoy!..


5-14-10
Fifth Grader’s written response—
Q: "What is the definition of 'reluctantly'?"
A: "Something that’s shaped like a reluctant"

Student: Ms. W, if I go to jail when I’m older will you help me get out?
Ms. W: Why would you go to jail?
Student: I don’t know but if Billy ends up going, I’ll probably end up there too.
Ms. W: Why would Billy go?
Student: For stealing fried chicken, of course! Duh :) You know that crazy-Billy loves fried chicken!
5-13-10
“Your sister has a ducky husband and he smells like chicken. And I know this because I’m awesome!”

“My pencil is a warrior. That’s why it has a hat”

“I’m going to make a lot of airplanes and sell them at recess to kids that don’t have a life”

“Aw… I farted in the hallway again- my bad bugs are acting up! Seriously”

3-24-10
[One of my little girls crawled under the table, sat Indian-style, and dropped her head to her hands]
Me [semi-under the table too]: "what are you doing?"
Little one: "I don’t know"
Me: "are you hiding?"
Little one: "yes, from the monster"
Me: [smiling] "am I the monster?" [nods her head and begins to smile]
Me: "what kind of monster?"
Little one: "the Math Monster"
Me: "what can I do to make it better?"
Little one: "I don’t know yet" [said in a deeeeply whimpery voice]
Me: "but you’ll come out soon and tell me..?"
Little one: [nods her head]
Me: "I love you. Take your time."
Little one: "ok,. I’m ready."

“No, smoking doesn’t make you ugly—that’s only with drugs. Drugs make you look gross and disgusting.. Like Michael Jackson. Drugs made Michael Jackson a girl!”

“Miss W, I think you should have a boyfriend, but I don’t think boys like teachers”

Student #1: “Oooh there’s a duck in this picture”
Ms. W: Is that the picture with a girl holding a duck?”
Student #1: yes!
Ms. W: Oh that’s my sister. She’s a duck.
Student #2: Did you say your sister’s a duck?
Ms. W: yes :)
Student #2: Your sister is a duck! That’s crazy :)

“Are you writing an email to a platypus that saw you in your underwear?!”

“This morning for breakfast, I ate a pooptart. Haha”

”I FORGOT TO TAKE MY PILL TODAY!! THEY SAY I’M HYPERACTIVE! HA HA! NO SERIOUSLY, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!”

“I love how my mom forgets stuff! Like she said the other day ‘Im never going to buy you anything else’ or ‘you’re not allowed to watch tv until Friday’ and then she totally forgets and I can’t do it!”

3rd grader #1: “Who’s Jesus. Oh! Jesus. Yeah I just forget who that is sometimes”
#2: “How can you forget Jesus?”
#3: “It happens. I do it too. Like when things are going really good and I’m having a lot of fun I stop thinking about him.”
#2: “yeah I guess sometimes I can even forget I have a family”

“Only my dad can carry a 200 lb. pumpkin, ‘cuz he’s like 73 years old!!”

“I feel so free in these pants!” (as he did a little butt-wiggle)

Fifth grade IEP student transition survey question: "what will you do in your free time after high school?" Student's response: "probably study for college tests and quizzes. that, or spend time making a museum entirely out of legos."

“I feel like I lost two years of my life!” –5th grader after a five-minute tornado drill (HUGE sigh of relief and air escaped the hallway when the announcement came on that it was done)

"monday is my march memesis!"

"I... I must have some bad bugs living in my stomach that are making me do it" -Student's somber explanation for creepy giggling during a test!

3rd Grader #1: "You're not a teacher. You're like a teacher-puppy"
3rd Grader #2: "Heehee...A teacher in a puppy-suit!"
3rd Grader #1: "A puppy in a teacher-suit!"

"Miss WonderTech, aren't you a teeeenager??"

June 16, 2009 - Meandering thoughts before rest can come tonight...

Late—and I’m up sitting, thinking about trees… mind unwinding like gnarls rescinding arthritic grasps on green.

I like the ones up here—things blooming that send out wafts of cottony film, pu—lled out long over blades of grass, purple blossoms that sweet-prick noses on the way to class, and North Dakotan firs, stretching long peaks homeward, and I am stretching also; green to the touch, new fibers spindle-tangling upward, flopping forward, kneeling onward, standing still.

Today brought a moment to walk around the Coulee, and shin-grazing fronds led my eyes to a momma duck and her four ducklings escaping the thrum of my voice on the phone with a friend. Cords of fluid gleam dragged thin behind them, and with them, some of the air in my cheeks. It’s these moments that lend the firm, bendy, tree-calm to days wick-whipped from burning candles on both ends. These—and a few others, tethered to ridiculousness with new friends—Provisions for the pressure-cooker—hand-picked for our common propensities towards spontaneously combusting into silly accents and quick-deep conversations.

Gratitude consumes several minutes of every night lately, licking clean the bones of the day, leaving only the strong supports…


Posted on 16 June 2009 at 2:06 AM Comments (0)