Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

07 April, 2013

Transition Measured in Books..


I once heard Kay Arthur tell a story about how she sold all her possessions before becoming a missionary when she was younger because she “read in the Bible that ‘where your treasure is, there your heart is also’, and ‘I didn’t want my heart to be stuck in a storage facility somewhere’”J… In person, her delivery was clearly humorous, but I can definitely relate! 


A few weeks ago, I decided that if I didn’t start going through my belongings now to at least majorly minimize, I was going to move to Papua New Guinea in a few months with boxes of things in my family members’ homes that don’t need to be sitting there for years.

So in March, I began with the books! As I swiped at the dust and pages with my fingers and lovingly inspected each one, I realized the books on my colossal shelf go back through a habit of at least twenty years of story-hoarding...   In school, through my most awkward years, books were my escape to incredible places and times, and characters that could understand me more than the people I was meeting in middle school. Though I was mostly a library borrower then, the habit stuck, and I found delight in large vocabulary words and the characters that used them.
College-Mon working
on my Senior Project

By high school, I was a full-fledged Lit-nerd who'd begun the habit of scouring used book stores for the oldest copies of favorites I could find, and becoming an English Major in college only multiplied the "problem" ten-fold! Each semester would bring a new long list to acquire, read, absorb, and analyze, and by the time I graduated, I'd plotted to buy a bookshelf to house "my loves" so they didn't have to live in odd, studious floor-stacks anymore.
When I moved out on my own after college for the first time, I found a used, three-part, mammoth bookshelf that felt perfect and proud to hold them, and when I became a teacher later, I found myself continuing the habit of hitting up used book stores after particularly stressful or rewarding teaching days to mark the momentous occasion J. Later, the well-loved collection even required a fourth build-it-yourself, additional tall shelf! 

So now, as I tried to undertake the minimization of this heap o' books, I found myself quite a sentimental goose over them—over and over again, I found little notes tucked away in the pages, and not the grocery-list kind, but the memory-fiber, weighty kind. I rediscovered a meaningful letter from my village roommate during my time in Ghana in '04, there were cards of encouragement from friends at all different points in my life, and post-its my parents had hidden away for me to find when I was in Italy. There was a lunch-note with doodles my sister and I had passed back and forth over a few days in high school, and some drawings we'd swiveled to make each other smile. Many of the books were given to me as gifts, with heart-words poured out on the cover pages. Some marked epochs in my personal growth, or instantly took me back to seasons of struggle when I'd clung to those pages for comfort.

There was something beautifully cathartic in this sifting process, and when I was finished I had a medium-sized keep-stack, a pile of precious notes, bookmarks, and letters, and several boxes of books to part with! It was fascinating to find that my whole life until this point could be partially measured out in books, and it was also beautiful to learn that these outward shells were not my treasure, but that there are so many deeply lovely memories, lessons, people, and so much unwavering human emotion that I connect to those titles and the words found within them. These things I carry with me, and several oceans won't change that.

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07 May, 2010

Nov. 21, 2008 - Reflections on an odd day, without reflecting on the day at all, but rather adding some small part of it to this place..

So today was a lot.
In a lot of different ways.
But as I was lying down to close it, I smiled at the way the class-part of my day went.. Fun students, and a room full of people trying to turn their memories into metaphors!~ Maybe only a scene an english-nerd could love.. but it was enjoyable.

Today was "I Am" Poem day;.. something I've done since my second semester of teaching with the first co-teacher I ever really clicked with...It's a very structured poem. Only now we were tying it to The House on Mango Street.. how Esperanze (hope!) is told that she cannot erase her memories... "you are Mango Street".. The concept that you are, in some powerful ways, the sum of all your history; all your vivid memories--good or bad--combining to form someone made of dust and sunny days and kinship and cold.

So from a list of topics, each student had to take notes on the most vivid memory they had for each of the categories we gave them. These range from "a pet memory" to "a time you were scared" and "your first crush".. Then we read our examples--To give them an idea of how to re-present their memories as quick images, small sentences, packed polaroids, so much memory pushed into a corner with the hope that there the squeaze-out may be something interesting.. So as an offering to the pillow before me, here's mine (written back the first time we taught the assignment though):


I AM
I am the growing shout of “go-----oal!” husking from my father’s otherwise gentle voice
I am letters written to the love I haven’t met yet I am shove, tear, fight through feeling rawness and weariness, to resplendent joy
I am the single thunder lamp lighting literacy lessons for the Ghanaian village
I am the silly first story written without any expectations
I am glinting Christmas lights squinted at from the base of 20 feet of green
I am the cracking concussion of a head on a swing as I slump to the grass after the fall
I am the apple orchard, bending wide my arms to gather in cousins, juice-pith, and seeds
I am a red-haired chow-chow, dashing at the first glimpse of an accidentally-open door
I am drenched boots and dramatic conclusions cracking through the ice on lake Jenushka
I am whispers to my sister between the bunk bed and wall until stars are yawning, gape-mouthed
I am the summer of 2002, ill, feeling like death and puddles
I am the daughter of Brazilian rhythm laced between the oompa-pa’s
I am the lead foot on the accelerator, trembling for 1,000 miles to see the scars on his wrists
I am red sleds pitched around snowy gutters, playing house with my kindred sis
I am struggling eye sight, blinking, staring, longing for what’s next

Posted on 21 November 2008 at 12:26 AM Comments (0)